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pancakemilkshake:

suspend:

i hope iphone 6 is a flip phone

It’s 2 iPhones connected with a hinge and when you close it both screens smack together and crack.

(via australiansanta)

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pantiesofficial:

when kids knead two colors of clay together and screw everything up

image

(via 0plus2equals1)

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lolcomical:

twitturds:

walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home

 

(Source: instantlys, via themelodyofhoth)

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verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

(via caileajayden)

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churchvan:

if your boyfriend doesn’t worship your butt then he’s a lame and i’m very sorry you have to deal with that

(via yg4)

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lesbionicles:

megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

you are probably just having a stroke

lesbionicles:

megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

you are probably just having a stroke

(via water12ftdeep)

Quote
"God is like Robert Pattinson: It’s not the person you have a problem with; it’s the fan club that freaks you out."

Anurag Sahay (via really-shit)

this is the best analogy I’ve ever heard

(via wickedwitchelphaba)

(via water12ftdeep)

Chat
  • Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
  • Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
  • Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
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sigurrossgeller:

This is so surreal it’s like an Onion article but real

sigurrossgeller:

This is so surreal it’s like an Onion article but real

(Source: memewhore, via tylerchokely)

Photoset